Inuyasha, Battle for the Champion
by Darket
Summary: Parody of the Rocky Movies. Inuyasha is now a pussy gangster and Myoga trains him to fight Sesshomaru. Read! It's funny as anything I've written. Co written by my little bro.


**INUYASHA**

**Battle to be champion**

**(A Rocky Rip-Off)**

**Written by**

**JT and Donnie Keebaugh**

CAST

Inuyasha- Rocky Balboa

Kagome- Adrian

Myoga- Mickey Goldman

Shippo- Little bitchy business man

Sesshomaru- Apollo Creed

Sota- Adrian's brother

Sango- Prostitute whore who's GOING TO BURN IN HELL!

Miroku- Rocky's black trainer

Inuyasha was in an alley punching Shippo and he had a knife.

Inuyasha- "Give me your money, or I'll cut ya'!"

Shippo- "Take my money, don't hurt me!"

Inuyasha- "Nah, I won't do that. I'll give you a week!"

Shippo- "WTF?"

Shippo ran off and Inuyasha's boss came by.

Boss- "Hey, I don't want you doing this. You're giving me a bad name! Now go cut him GOD DAMN IT!!!"

Inuyasha- "No man, I'm tired of this. I can't do that to somebody."

Boss- "Well you better, or I'll fire your ass!"

Inuyasha- "Screw you!!!"

He walked off angry and wondered how he became a derived pussy compared to how he was in the show.

Inuyasha- "Shippo was right, WTF?"

His life was going down hill. Crime was all he had and his boss fired him for being a pussy. In the window of a pet shop, he saw a dog that he had been wanting. He went inside and started to pet the dog from over the bars.

Inuyasha- "Wow, I'm a total pussy."

Kagome walked up to him with a gay looking dress and dorky glasses.

Kagome- "Can I help you?"

Inuyasha- "Yeah, I need some turtle food for my turtles Cuff and link."

Kagome- "Wow, you quit being a gangster and your in a pet shop buying turtle food for your turtles. You are a pussy."

Inuyasha- "Man, I know. I just didn't want to cut him!"

BULL SHIT! BULL SHIT! BULL SHIT!

Inuyasha bought the turtle food and left. He went home and fed his turtles and looked at Link.

Inuyasha- "Hey Link, you drownin' down there?"

Cuff was on top of Link trying to kill him. The next day he went to the gym and Myoga was in the locker room.

Myoga- "Hey man, I'm taking away your locker. Yeah, Blood!"

Inuyasha- "Man, why are you taking away my locker?"

Myoga- "Your being too much of a bitch to let me train ya' so you can fight the champion of the world!"

Inuyasha- "No, I got to waste 3 more pages and then fight him for two!"

Myoga- "Fine, go away to your girlfriend you little bitch! YEAH FIGHT! FIGHT!"

Inuyasha-"Oh, that's what you think?"

Myoga- "Your damn right that's what I think!"

Inuyasha- "Alright let's train!!!"

Myoga- "YEAH!!!!"

Inuyasha started jump roping and he tripped. He kept jump roping and he tripped again. After fifty tries, he turned to Myoga.

Inuyasha- "Man, why the heck we don' this?"

Myoga- "I have no fuckin' idea, let's do something else!"

**5 Hours Later**

Inuyasha and Sota were in the freezer yelling at each other.

Sota- "I don't like how your treating my sister!"

Inuyasha- "I haven't done anything with her yet!"

Sota- "I don't give a shit, you better leave her alone!"

Sota punched the meat as Inuyasha leaved and Inuyasha turned around. Inuyasha turned to the meat and started beating the crap out of it.

Inuyasha- "Control my rage, be a pussy. Don't hit Sota..."

Inuyasha kept punching the meat and Sota poked him with a knife.

Sota- "Hey man, you need to stop doing that or I'm going to get fired."

**At the pet shop, magically...**

Inuyasha walked in and Kagome had a giant box.

Inuyasha- "Hey, what's this for?"

Kagome- "I got you a present!"

Inuyasha opened it up and it was the dog he wanted. The dog jumped Inuyasha in a furious rage and Inuyasha was tackled. Kagome screamed in terror and the dog tried to bite Inuyasha. It didn't work and the dog grabbed a beer bottle out of god knows where and smashes it. It tried to stab Inuyasha with it and ended up getting flipped over.

Myoga- "You're doing it, you're doing it, BITE HIS EAR OFF!"

Inuyasha tried to stab the dog and it laughed. Quickly, he bit the dog's ear off and they separated.

Myoga- "Yeah, BLOOD!"

Myoga started foaming at the mouth and Inuyasha ran towards the dog. The dogged splashed kitty litter in his eyes. Inuyasha screamed and the dog got up. The dog formed fists and Inuyasha wiped his eyes off. He held up his fists and they walked in a circle. The dog threw a punch and Inuyasha was hit.

Myoga- "Go for the left! He has no left!"

Inuyasha threw a punch and the dog blocked it.

Inuyasha- "AHHHH!!! Hey, your shoe..."

The dog looked down and Inuyasha punched it in the face.

Inuyasha- "Dog's don't got shoes! HA!"

Inuyasha screamed and he punched the dog in the face, scoring a knockout!

Inuyasha- "Yeah!!!"

Myoga- "Yeah, knockout! Fight! You're good! God I'm going to have a heart attack!"

Sesshomaru walked by the pet shop and saw what Inuyasha did to the dog.

Sesshomaru- "My God..."

Inuyasha- "Yeah, I did it!"

Sesshomaru- "Hey, how about you all come over to my house?"

Myoga- "YEAH! Get your ass over there Inuyasha and then you better train. I'll come along."

Sota was with Sesshomaru and Inuyasha went with them. Sota had his arm around Sango. Myoga looked at Sango thinking why is she selling her body to a 9 year old?

Sesshomaru- "Come on, hop in my car!"

They got into the car and arrived at Sesshomaru's house. Myoga went in first and saw how big it was.

Myoga- "Yeah! Blood!"

Sesshomaru- "Welcome to my humble house."

Inuyasha- "Yeah... Why did you invite us here?"

Sesshomaru- "I felt like talking."

Inuyasha- "Are you gay?"

Sesshomaru- "NO! I'm the champion of boxing."

Inuyasha- "Oh..."

Sesshomaru- "Yeah, it's pretty cool huh?"

Inuyasha- "Are you a gay boxer? Boxers fight, they don't talk like girls."

Sesshomaru- "Well, at least I'm not a pussy gangster!"

Myoga- "Backlash wave his ass!"

Inuyasha- "AHHHH!!!"

Sesshomaru- "Fine, I'LL FIGHT YOU ON TV!"

Myoga- "Yeah! FIGHT!"

Sota and Sango went upstairs and Inuyasha went home to see Kagome. She was trying to wake up the dog and Inuyasha walked in.

Inuyasha- "Yeah, I got some trouble up ahead. Sesshomaru has just challenged me to a fight."

Kagome- "NO! You can't fight him! Fighting is bad, it knocked out my poochie!"

Inuyasha- "I'm confused! What do I do?"

Kagome- "Let's watch some TV! That sound's easy!"

They sat down and watched TV. Inuyasha took off her glasses and kissed her to stay accurate to the movie. Sota walked towards the house and he saw Inuyasha inside. Inuyasha had his arm around Kagome and Sota walked in. He was PISSED!

Sota- "Alright, get out. Merry Christmas, get out of my house!"

Inuyasha didn't move and Sota was angry.

Sota- "I don't think it's safe for gangsters like you to hang out with my sister."

Kagome- "He's not a gangster!"

Inuyasha- "Yeah, you just hired a hooker. Isn't that dangerous? She could have had Herpes."

Sota- "Get out!"

He smashed a lamp and Inuyasha didn't leave. Next, he picked up the dog and threw it towards a door.

Dog- "YIPE!"

It shattered when hitting the door and Sota picked up a baseball bat.

Sota- "Get out! I'm smashing precious stuff I spent hundreds on, so get out!"

Kagome got up and started pushing Sota.

Kagome- "Your not the boss of me! Leave me alone!"

She slapped Sota and he pushed her away.

Sota- "Make him get the hell out!"

Kagome- "NO! BOO HOO!"

She ran off crying and Sota started smashing stuff. Inuyasha got up and threw Sota into a corner.

Sota- "AHHH! Don't kill me! I'll sue you!"

Myoga- "Yeah, sue his ass!"

Inuyasha walked off and Kagome followed him.

Kagome- "I want to live with you!"

Inuyasha- "Why? He'll be pissed."

Kagome- "Don't be a pussy, he's just 3 feet tall. Besides, Sota just smashed all of our dishes. He's still doing it now!"

They went home and morning came. Myoga was on Inuyasha's shoulder and it was time to train. Inuyasha drank a glass of raw eggs and got ready to run. Miroku walked towards him ad pulled out a boom box.

Miroku- "I'm going to help you beat Sesshomaru..."

Inuyasha- "Let's go!"

Miroku held up a boom box and started running with Inuyasha. It started to play push it to the Limit from the Scar face soundtrack. Inuyasha ran through the streets and he jumped over a trashcan. It snagged his leg and he tripped.

Myoga- "Come on, keep running you wimp! And stay away from that Kagome! Yeah! Fight!"

Inuyasha kept running and he ran through the city. People cheered for him and Inuyasha ran through the railroad tracks. Miroku dropped the boom box and Forest Gump started to run beside him.

Myoga- "Don't let that cripple kid beat you, hit him!"

Inuyasha punched Forest and he fell. A bunch of kids on bikes caught forest and started to beat him up.

Jenny- "YOU ASSHOLE!"

Inuyasha smiled and he ran up to steps. After reaching the top, he began to cheer while punching. Immediately, he ran out of breath and started to pace around the top of the staircase. Inuyasha began to gasp and he had an asthma attack. Myoga got off of him and Inuyasha fell back down the stairs.

Myoga- "Come on, stop fartin' around! You... You'll be alright."

Fight night came and Kagome was ashamed that he was fighting. Miroku, Sota, and Myoga were on Inuyasha's side of the ring. Sesshomaru stood up and lifted his boxing gloves in the air.

Myoga- "Yeah, fight him! Don't be a pussy!"

Inuyasha- "Yeah... Let's go!"

The announcer got into the middle of the ring and picked up the microphone.

Announcer- "In the left corner, holding the title for world champion, Sesshomaru!!!"

Sesshomaru held his fists up and started punching thin air. He sat back down and the announcer lifted his microphone.

Announcer- "And in the right corner, trying to steal the title and doesn't even qualify as a champion contender, Inuyasha!"

Inuyasha stood and some of the crowd cheered. The rest started to boo him. The bell rang and both fighters got up.

Myoga- "Go for his nuts, yeah! Nuts!"

Sesshomaru slammed his fists together and Inuyasha got ready to fight.

Announcer- "Now, the fighters are just walking around. They look like they are going to fight!"

Sesshomaru punched Inuyasha in the face and the crowd cheered.

Announcer- "Oh, Inuyasha just got bitch slapped!'

Inuyasha got up and Sesshomaru was ready to fight him. Sesshomaru was punched in the face and Inuyasha started to hit him in the gut. The bell rang and they sat down.

Inuyasha- "Yeah, how did I do?"

Miroku spit in his face and poured water on him.

Miroku- "You need to learn not the fall down when you get hit! Now bum rush him!"

The bell rang and Inuyasha got up. Sesshomaru walked towards Inuyasha and started throwing punches. Inuyasha blocked them and got in close. He started hitting Sesshomaru in the stomach. The bell ran and a lady walked out with a sign. It said Round 3.

**Round 15...**

Announcer- "Wow, that's the fastest 14 rounds I have ever seen! Ever..."

Inuyasha sat down and his face a bruised. He handed Miroku some teeth and Sota gave him some water.

Sota- "Get in there you pussy! Fight him! Beat him up!!!"

Kagome watched in the crowd and she started to cry.

Kagome- "He's going to get a concussion... Oh no, it will be over between us if Inuyasha loses!"

Inuyasha got up and he was dizzy. Sesshomaru had a black eye and they began to fight. Inuyasha punched Sesshomaru in the face again and received a deadly fist to his eye. Sesshomaru hit his other eye and started to hammer Inuyasha while he was down.

Announcer- "And Sesshomaru uses the bum rush, a cheap move indeed!"

The bell rang and they all backed up. Inuyasha couldn't see through his eyes and Sota looked at him.

Sota- "Yeah, he's pretty fucked up."

Myoga- "Come on! Get in there and fight! FIGHT!"

Inuyasha- "I can't see... Cut me... I need to get the blood from my eyes."

Sota cut the bottom of his eyes and Inuyasha got up. The bell rang and they walked towards each other.

Inuyasha- "Come on you pussy..."

Sesshomaru threw a punch and broke Inuyasha's nose. Inuyasha dislocated Sesshomaru's jaw and a few seconds were left. They both punched each other and the bell rang. A bunch of people ran in to separate them and the match was a draw. A reporter walked up to Inuyasha and held a microphone to his mouth.

Reporter- "Wow, you both are losers. What do you have to say?"

Inuyasha- "Kago..."

Reporter- 'Yeah, a big loser and I'm going to keep talking..."

Inuyasha- "Kagome..."

Reporter- "Yeah, you really lost!"

Inuyasha- "Kagome! Kagome!"

Reporter- "Yep, he really got his ass kicked!"

Kagome heard Inuyasha and saw him in the ring.

Inuyasha- "Kagome!"

Kagome started pushing people out of her way and Inuyasha was bleeding badly.

Inuyasha- "Kagome!"

Kagome- "Inuyasha!"

Kagome pushed everybody out of her way and was near the ring.

Reporter- "Yeah, you really got your ass kicked, what do you have to say?"

Inuyasha- "Kagome!!!"

Reporter- "Well, that doesn't answer my question..."

Kagome jumped into the ring and they had a slow motion run towards each other.

Inuyasha- "Kagome!"

Kagome- "Inuyasha!"

They hugged and Inuyasha smiled.

Inuyasha- "I love you Kagome!!!"

Kagome- "I love you Inuyasha!!!"

Kagome smiled and put a bag over his head. They made out and got their pictures taken. Sesshomaru left the ring and he looked at Inuyasha.

Sesshomaru- "There's a sequel in this somewhere..."

**The End...**


End file.
